Coping with Valentine’s Day After Divorce
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can be difficult for anyone, especially those who have recently gone through a divorce. If you are struggling to cope with the emotions surrounding this time of year, you are not alone.
Here are some tips to help you navigate through this holiday season and work towards finding peace after divorce:
- Don’t rush your healing process. Many clients often wonder when they will be ready to move on and how long their divorce will affect them, and honestly, how long it takes to heal and move on is case specific—and remember no one heals overnight. It is normal to feel overwhelmed at times or struggle emotionally. Allow yourself to grieve in whatever way works best for you, whether it's talking with friends or family members or seeing a therapist.
- Focus on what you can control. During and after the divorce process, you may feel like a lot of things are out of your control, especially if you filed a contested divorce. Rather than focus on what you can’t control, focus on what you can control, such as how much time you spend thinking about your partner, how much time you spend doom-scrolling, and how positive your outlook is when it comes to the future. To better focus on what you can control, you may want to create some short-term and long-term goals for yourself. This will help give you something concrete to work towards each day instead of feeling bogged down by negative emotions.
- Practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself if things don’t go according to plan on Valentine's Day (or anytime throughout the year following your divorce). Offer yourself compassion instead of criticism; take breaks when needed; reach out for support when possible; and try your best not to put pressure on yourself during this difficult time in your life. A bonus tip is also to avoid comparison; consider staying off of social media if you think your self-view will be negatively impacted by what other couples or friends are doing this Valentine’s Day.
- Take time for yourself. Valentine’s Day may bring up difficult emotions. Rather than trying to push these feelings aside, use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to take time for yourself and healthily process them. Spend some time alone reflecting on where you’ve been and where you’re going next; and be sure you do something that brings you joy so that you don’t get stuck in negative emotions.
- Connect with others. Although spending time alone is important, it is also crucial to stay connected with those who matter most in your life. Reach out to family members or close friends who will be able to offer support and understanding during this difficult time. Taking part in activities with other people can help distract from the pain while bringing joy back into your life on this holiday.
- Create new traditions. Divorce can often mean saying goodbye not just to a partner but also to the traditions that you created together over time. Take this opportunity to create new ones with loved ones or by yourself. Maybe have your favorite restaurant deliver dinner for one instead of eating out at the spot you used to go as a couple; maybe take yourself out dancing; or maybe even start volunteering at an animal shelter—the possibilities are endless! The idea is that whatever new tradition you choose should be something that makes you happy.
As Valentine's Day approaches, remember that there are many ways to cope with this holiday season (and others) after divorce - just make sure your coping strategies emphasize self-care over self-criticism!
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At Balbo & Gregg, Attorneys at Law, PC, our attorneys understand how much your divorce can impact your emotional and financial health and future. If you are involved in a divorce case, you can trust our firm to offer you tailored solutions and advise you on the impact of certain decisions. We handled divorce cases and post-judgment modification cases.
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